#BeatsForBECKHAM

not related to this post, but don't you just want to go hug every one of the bronco player's moms? bless their hearts because you know they are hurting for their baby boys right now.  yeesh. 

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It's confession time:


Last week, I just plain flat out got tired of my child.


I know.


Every mom that ever existed will totally get that statement, but I still feel a little guilty admitting it. Cody was working some extra long hours prepping for and during the disciple now c-40 and I was on call for everything, which included many night wakings and early mornings.  And even after Cody's hours slowed back down, it was still so much togetherness. Sometimes momma just needs a chance to mindlessly walk around a store without having to watch the little hands and continually repeat "no Griff. don't touch!"  Cody was sweet enough to let me drop Griff off at his work for a little bit Thursday morning so that I could run one quick errand by myself and it did help lift my spirits.

This isn't the first time that I've gotten in a little bit of a SAHM funk, but it's the first time that I needed a firm talkin' to to help me get out of it.  Honestly, I probably deserved a major kick in the pants with the pity party I was throwing myself, but I'm so thankful things played out differently. Once again last week I found myself up past midnight trying to rock Griff back to sleep and I was just done.  Done to the point that I was ready to be super selfish and about to go get Cody and ask him to take over, even though he's still trying to catch up on sleep.  As I cried and prayed, "just make him go back to sleep!" the Lord gently whispered, "What about Lindsey? What would she give for a late night with an overactive toddler?" 

Some of you may know the Morenos and their story. To summarize, their son Beckham was diagnosed with HLHS (a severely underdeveloped left ventricle) at their 20 week appointment. He was born about a month early and had his first surgery at 12 days old. He spent 7 more weeks in the hospital before he was able to come home, as healthy as he could be given his heart condition. A few months later, he had an issue with one of his valves that sent him into the hospital on life support and another surgery. Testing showed a severe injury to his brain from CPR, which excludes him from the possibility of another surgery to finish repairing his heart. His parents Lindsey and Beto took him home with the expectancy that he had 4 to 6 months to live.  Beckham has exceeded those limits and recently celebrated his first birthday, but it is still a waiting game to see when he will outgrow what his heart is capable of handling.

In short, he needs a great miracle.

As I set in my chair rocking Griffin, throwing a pity party because I was tired, I was struck with the fact that don't even know the tired that Lindsey is facing. I know it must be a gut wrenching, bone deep, unquenchable tired as she gives her all daily to keep her child alive. And I cried for her, for Beckham and the life they dreamed for him that will probably never happen. And then I cried for my own selfishness and how blessed I am to have such a happy, healthy, busy toddler to chase after.


I still didn't get much sleep that night, but I woke up with a little bit of perspective that made things easier the next day. You can follow along with Beckham's story on their blog or on Facebook. I know they would appreciate all of your prayers for their family.